How to Help a Foster Child Feel Welcome in Your Home

Be patient: The earliest stages of fostering a child can be a major adjustment period for both of you. This may be the child’s first time in foster care, or the child could have several experiences in the foster care system and may be wary of this latest arrangement. In either case, don’t build your expectations too high. Be patient, and let the newness of the situation wear off before pushing too hard.

Introductions: Be welcoming, but take your cue from the child. If he or she seems social and upbeat, a warm greeting is in order. If the child is scared, take it slower. For children who seem indifferent or angry, it is best to give them some space and talk to your support specialist about what could be bothering them. Children from abusive situations might be more reluctant to express emotions at first. With smaller children, you can get down to their eye level, but don’t insist on a child calling you Mom or Dad right away. Find out what feels comfortable and build from there.

Prepare the basics: You might not have much time to prepare in an emergency placement. Try to keep a few basic necessities on hand so the child feels welcome. Stock school supplies, food, and items for personal care. If you have time to get more things ready, ask your caseworker about clothing needs and special food requirements. Have a room that is decorated in an age-appropriate manner, but make sure the child knows that it can be personalized to his or her preferences as well.

Other children: Bringing a new child into an existing family environment can cause some hurdles. Talk to your family members about what will happen, and involve them in welcoming the foster child. Try not to spend so much time focusing on your foster child that you fail to notice problems with your other children.